Platonic, South Park, Twisted Metal, Sistas and More

Who’s ready to celebrate TV’s buzziest bits of dialogue?

In our latest Quotes of the Week column below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you’ll find a dozen shows represented, including The Summer I Turned Pretty, South Park, Twisted Metal, Countdown, Tyler Perry’s Sistas and more.

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Also featured in this week’s roundup: Andy Samberg accepts a Las Culturistas Culture Award, Project Runway’s Law Roach breaks down the anatomy of fashion and King of the Hill takes Netflix bingeing too far. Plus, we’ve got quotable moments from The Young and the Restless, And Just Like That…, MasterChef and Outlander: Blood of My Blood.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich, Dave Nemetz, Kimberly Roots, Ryan Schwartz and Andy Swift)

SOUTH PARK

“If you’re doing something you don’t really believe in just to make your nut, you’re gonna find that you just get sadder, and your nut just gets bigger.”

Mr. Mackey (Trey Parker) offers Clyde some sage advice on the best way to make one’s, um, financial goals

PROJECT RUNWAY

“When I saw your look walk out, I was like, ‘The cervix is dilated, and she’s crowning.’”

Law Roach gives Ethan some creative feedback

TWISTED METAL

“I’ll take the lead on this one.”

“Really? You?”

“Yeah, me. I used to live with insiders, I know how their brain works. Do you even know what an hors d’oeuvre is? And you wouldn’t believe how they spell that s—t.”

John (Anthony Mackie) preps Quiet to go undercover at a posh event

COUNTDOWN

“Hey. Uh, listen, sorry about earlier. I didn’t—”

“No, don’t apologize to me. Apologize to that bathroom.”

“Well, it was more just the trash can. It wasn’t the whole bathroom.”

“I’d say it was more the whole bathroom.”

Mark (Jensen Ackles) is contrite after Amber (Jessica Camacho) caught him in a tumor-triggered tantrum

KING OF THE HILL

“I finished Netflix, Hank. Did you know that when you get to the end of Netflix, you get something called a wellness check?”

Bill (Stephen Root) shares his grim pandemic experience with his old pal Hank

THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY

“Who’s the Shiv Roy wannabe?”

Taylor (Rain Spencer) isn’t thrilled when she sees Steven hanging around corporate types

THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS

“And what? Kyle is just this lost little lamb with no free will? But by all means, Jack, defend and protect your adult son from the very scary woman. You know, actually, why don’t you give him another title at Jabot — or another division! You should build him a house. Hand him another trust fund. Protect him at all costs, because I’m the villain here. How terrifying for you all.”

Audra (Zuleyka Silver) won’t let Jack paint her as a hussy for trying to seduce his nepo-baby son in exchange for backing for a new company

GORDON RAMSAY’S SECRET SERVICE

“Please, sisters… [I pray that] what you are about to receive will not put you in the bathroom for the next three hours.”

Gordon says a little prayer for a pair of nuns about to chow down on sus cheesesteak

LAS CULTURISTAS CULTURE AWARDS

“While tonight has been a beautiful celebration of culture, we cannot forget the ones we love who have passed.”

“Not passed away, but passed on being here tonight.”

“Because they had other s—t to do.”

Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang present their moving “In Absentia” tribute

LAS CULTURISTAS CULTURE AWARDS (Bonus Quote!)

“First off, I want to thank my fellow nominees, my fellow cis men or my cis-ters, as I call them. Yeah, I know that’s something else, but we want it. Which, you know, means historically, we will get it.”

Andy Samberg accepts the Creatine Award for Straight Male Excellence

TYLER PERRY’S SISTAS

“Two breast pumps? She doesn’t have udders, Pam.”

Leave it to Danni (Mignon) to throw shade while also teaching an important biology lesson

MASTERCHEF

“This is like the solar system. Mercury, Pluto, Jupiter, planet Earth, Mars, Uranus, and Neptune. They’re just all different sizes.”

Joe Bastianich thinks that a team’s mismatched macarons are far from out-of-this-world

PLATONIC

“Don’t be fooled by Uncle Pete. He might look cute, but apparently he ate a man in Korea.”

“Wow. Did he say what it tasted like?”

“Lasagna. I bet that guy hates Mondays, am I right?”

Will (Seth Rogen) warns Sylvia (Rose Byrne) about ~~Garfield~~ Jenna’s uncle

OUTLANDER: BLOOD OF MY BLOOD (Episode 1)

“I must admit, ever since our encounter, I’ve tried to forget you.”

“Strange. I could do nothing but think of you. You’ve haunted my every thought.”

“I didn’t say I succeeded.”

Even though they’ve just met, Ellen (Harriet Slater) and Brian (Jamie Roy) are in deep smit

OUTLANDER: BLOOD OF MY BLOOD (Episode 2)

“Wait, wait, wait: You’re not worried that we’re not married yet, are you?”

“‘Yet’? Not exactly up there with proposals of great literary masterpieces. But yes, I accept.”

Henry (Jeremy Irvine) and Julia (Hermione Corfield) multitask by getting engaged while they get naked

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